Sharing with Joy to the World

There is always Joy to the world. This month, I was invited by an old friend and fellow previous NUMYFP leader, Joy Bohol, to share my thougths and experiences about Covid-19 for the World Council of Churches. Joy Bohol has been a missionary for the GBGM in various countries and now serves as missionary assigned to the WCC youth sector. You can support missionaries like Joy and others thru their Advance GBGM account. I was honored to be able to share with the global church God's goodness even at this time of pandemic. 

Part of what I shared in the WCC talk was the challenges and inequities that frontliners encounter. I also shared my thought on how the global church can help address this problem. The entire webinar is available in Youtube through this link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0WhkuanGII 

Thoughts at The Time of Covid19

There are many United Methodists who became infected with Covid-19. When I heard their story, they inspired me as they shared how God used their lives to bless others. One of them was Kuya Arnel de Pano who was one of the those who encouraged me and lifted my spirit during the time I was sick in the hospital. My prayer is that, just as other people's story blessed me, may God make me a blessing to others as well.

This verse from Lamentations reminds me that '“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul. “Therefore, I have hope in Him.”'

When I got back to the hospital on the first Monday morning of September, I was informed that I got exposed to a doctor who may be positive. The next day, I was monitoring myself. On Wednesday, I was not feeling well so I went home early because I thought it was just a migraine. The following day, I self-quarantined after learning that some of the other doctors had tested positive for Covid19. I returned to the hospital to have my swab test later that afternoon. I kept monitoring my body temperature as it was persistently going high up to 37.5 degrees C. Later that Thursday night, my body temperature was already at 38 degrees so I immediately went to the hospital and was advised admission.

It was nerve-wracking to think what could happen next. I was at first feeling Ok because I only experienced fever the first few days. Yet, I was worried because I heard one of the doctors who got infected now has pneumonia. So, I tried to exercise too and eat well and do my best to make sure my body can cope. I told myself that I should get past the first 10 days without any breathing problems. They said the worst Covid19 symptoms are in the first 7 to 10 days. Unfortunately, even on the 8^th day my fever was still present and I was beginning to catch my breath even with the short distance to the bath room. Also, radiographic tests showed I have severe pneumonia. The nurses gave me oxygen but I refused hoping that I can teach my lungs to adapt and cope to the situation. The next day, my oxygen saturation was going below the acceptable level of 90. I was having short shallow breaths but putting the oxygen did help me breath better. Different thoughts started to fill my mind at that point. I was still within the 10-day period where most of the morbid cases of Covid-19 usually takes place. In those moments, I just stared at the window. In an instant, the doctor is now the patient.

I was in a situation where I was not just a patient trying to recover physically but was also struggling emotionally and mentally. I was thinking how health workers affected with Covid-19 may have felt knowing they were at a critical condition and could die. I did not fear death but there was sadness in me. I was lamenting. I was also thinking how my Uncle, the elder brother of my father, may have felt during his own hospitalization. He knew he had Covid19 and he knew he was in critical condition. No one was with him while he was in the hospital. What were his thoughts then? My uncle died the next day after he was confined. Not one family member was with him when he died and when he was buried. It was emotionally stressful for me. Our family could not even grieve properly for his death. I was also thinking of the patient in the next room. I can hear the beep of his ventilator. For several days I wake up at night to the sound of that beep. But one afternoon, the nurse called code on him. My next room neighbor did not make it. He was another death case from Covid19. I can imagine the grief of the family. It seemed an eternity of mental and emotional stress for me. Even if I am a clergy, I was in a spiritual crisis. If I do not make it, I would have many unaccomplished goals. I would be leaving my wife and kids with nothing. I would not fulfill my promise to my family. I would let my friends and colleagues down. I felt the gift of life is wasted. I turned to God.

The lamenting became questions. How can I get past this situation? When I asked God, I realized what was the problem. I reflected on my attempts trying to protect myself from Covid19? How hard am I trying to heal myself from Covid19? Ilang tao ba ang nag message and told me with good intentions to keep myself healthy? Pero, where is God in all of those efforts? Maybe I trusted too much on my own strength? Have I forgotten to put everything on God alone? Is not God the God of everything? Then why am I trying to make things happen? Since this pandemic started, I was trying to fight the virus by myself. This concept was fed by messages of “kaya mo yan” (you can do it), “palakas ka”(just be strong), “ganito gawin mo, ganyan” (do this and that). Because of the messages I received I got the idea that I can fight the virus with my own effort, I just need to do some things for my body to resist it. But I realized that I have left out God in the equation. Because I was centered in my own effort I have notincluded God part of the healing. That was wrong. God should be the one to heal me. God will let it happen what God wants to happen. God will use all the T cells in me, even the medicine and technology if God so desires, not me. I should surrender all to God and let God. No effort from me to heal me but my only effort is to surrender to God. It will be God at work, all the time.

Things got better and it made me hopeful. On the 10^th day, I told myself to take it one day at a time. I will be improving only by God’s work. I am not yet out of the woods but there is hope. I will get pass the critical period. The pulmonologist visited me and told me that my laboratories were improving but I needed to shift to new antibiotics. That was great news for me. It made my spirits high. It boosted my morale. Only by God’s miraculous work can this happen. I never lost hope in God. Even when I was thinking the worst that could happen to me, that is when my hope in God was greater. I understood that hope is when everything is impossible, you still believe something good can happen. Hope is the only thing left. Hope is the only thing that keeps a person alive in the worst situation.

I love seeing the break of dawn in my window every morning. I make sure I listen to hymns played in YT.  The lyrics speaks to me  “When you don’t understand, when you don’t see His plan, when you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart.” I am remind by this song to hope only in God. I love the prayers of healing from family, friends and church communities. I remember people who overcame this illness inspired me and strengthened my hope. Worrying makes it difficult to get by everyday with all the  negative thoughts and “what ifs” without having hope. I reminded me to never lose hope or I will not survive. When I couldn't breath, I just prayed. I know I cannot do it. But I have hope in God that God can do it for me. I have hope that in God’s perfect time I will be healed. I held on to that hope. When I can just easily give up, hope is the only thing left to keep me focused on recovering and getting better. I have high hopes because I have a great God. I never doubted so my faith in him never wavered. My hope of recovery was never lost because I know God can do it. I can continue the fight because God is my hope.

Update: On November 1, 2021 my mother succumbed to Covid-19 after several days in the hospital. My hope in the resurrection inspires me that all those who suffered will be at peace with God.

Prayer of a Doctor who is a Patient

 Dear Lord, 

I cannot breath and I long for the breath of life from you.

My lungs are weak and failing, may you give me some strength too.

My body is sick and aching, come heal me with your hand.

My mind is confused. I'm worried, help me to understand.

I am not afraid because you have promised you will always be with me. 

I am not alone because I know I will feel your presence with me through the healthcare workers who sacrifice themselves to be instruments of healing.

My X-rays, CT scans, the lab results and the vital signs are not looking good. But my hope in you remains. There is nothing else that I can hold on to. For the facts do not count when the Great Physician is at work. 

My spirit is in crisis. But my faith is in you Lord. Thank you for the moon that reminds me that the dawn is coming. Thank you for the morning light that shines so bright. My soul praises you for I was able to experience You again intensely. Thank you for the opportunity to refocus myself back to You. I can now look beyond myself. 

God of grace. Let my experience be mine alone. Keep my loved ones and everyone else safe. Spare the weak. Protect the vulnerable. 

God of love. Thank you for showing your unconditional love to us. Thank you for your Son who showed obedience to Your will.Thank you for His life and His victory over death. We are not afraid because of His triumph. We will overcome this illness. We will overcome this pandemic. We will overcome. 

I am not alone because of family and friends who keeps me company. Thank you for technology that allows videocalls, SMS and chats. We have felt your presence, Oh God, through each others messages.

I am not afraid because you are the God in times of calmness and in times of storm. You are the same God before Covid19, in this time of Covid19 and even after Covid19 is gone. 

My mind has received the peace of God which surpasses all understanding.

My body is now rested with the Balm of Gilead we have been healed. 

My lungs are now stronger with the power and might bestowed upon us all.

I can breath now for the breath of the Almighty gives us life that is full. 

Amen.

Breastfeeding in Churches

 The month of August is Breastfeeding month. One of the mot dedicated breastfeeding advocate I know is Ms. Earlie Pasion-Bautista. We all know about the importance of exclusive breastfeeding for babies in the first six months of their life. But the question I always ask is that why do we not promote breastfeeding inside our church? Why do we not support breastfeeding mothers with the space and equipments they need that will support breastfeeding? Why do we not have Bible Studies and devotions about how God uses illustrations of breastfeeding to characterize God's nurturing? Why do we not see lay groups and churches actively supporting celebrations of Breastfeeding? This month, even with the pandemic, we have organized a Virtual Hakab Na! to promote brestfeeding. Our partners are individuals and small mother's businesses. We barely see the church participate. We do have individuals from our church. But the church has not been institutionally been involved. My wife reminds me that I may need to raise awareness among chruches that the Bible has numerous times described breastfeeding to illustrate the abundant provision and the care God gives to His people. In Isaiah, we read “Rejoice with Jerusalem, and be glad for her, all you who love her; rejoice with her in joy, all you who mourn over her; that you may nurse and be satisfied from her consoling breast; that you may drink deeply with delight from her glorious abundance.”

 We must celebrate and rejoice in the gift of breastfeeding. Thus, breastfeeding must be promoted in chruches, not discriminate mothers who do not cover when they need to feed their babies and encourage young mothers to practice exclusive breastfeeding and beyond. My wife has been actively engaging other young mothers to practice exclusive breastfeeding. Our youngest daughter, who already turned 3 years old, still breastfeeds. I hope that one day, in the next Breastfeeding Month celebration, the church will be the one who will initiate and host our celebration as we celebrate mothers and the important role they take in the nurture and feeding of their chidlren. 

 

The Ladies Month

This month is the birth month of my wife and my first daughter. It will be another quarantine birthday for them. Yet, celebrating the birthdays of these women in my life is precious. Women play a special role in each person's life. Even in the life of the church. The women were responsible for the lay movement of the early methodists. In fact, women missionaries were the one who helped spread the Methodist brand of Christianity during the American period here in the Philippines. I am thankful for my wife for being a great mother to our kids. I always remember the impact of Susana Wesley in the life of John. Mothers mold the minds and the heart of the children. I experienced that with my mom, I see that in my wife and our kids. My daughter is greatly influenced by her mother. She loves dancing, music and creative arts. She is very thoughtful and persistent even in times of challenges. Even the challenge of Covid-19 will not deter her and this family to celebrate. 

While we celebrate, we do not see Covid-19 ending anytime soon. We are preparing the hospital for a long term response. Thus, we transferred the Covid 19 response back to the Administration and incorporated it back to the regular hospital operations. We welcomed the new CMPS this month too and with the new leadership, we are excited with how our response against Covid-19 will be.

Freedom and Social Justice

Today is June 12. We celebrate the Philippine Independence Day. The church plays a crucial role in achieving that ideals of freedom not only from colonizers but freedom from the bondage of the present social sins. The world is broken as injustice, abuse and inequalities has tainted all of us. This brokenness has enslaved our society and the church has tried to resist and free our society from these social ills. The church, led by its pastors and church workers, is still struggling for our freedom from these social ills.

One of the church workers active in the work of the church is Rev. Edgar de Jesus. He is the current President of the NAFAUM. I had a quick chat with Pastor Edgar today. He was inviting me to the upcoming Zoom Webinar on June 22 entitled "Leading the Church in the time of Pandemic." This has been a series of ongoing discussions which is a very timely topic as the world goes through a major change in its daily activities including the church. The way how church activities like mission work, outreach, conferences and the regular worship service is being affected such as the church sacraments of baptism, Holy Communion and even the rituals of wedding and burial have to be drastically change. It has create confusion, chaos, debates and unanswered questions. People can no longer have the Lord's Supper because of the quarantine. People can not gather in worship so will they be allowed to celebrate the Lord's Supper online? If gatherings are not allowed, then how can public declarations of the couple's love be done during their dream wedding. Will it be done online? Even the annual conferences, which is the major and crucial activity in the church have to be postponed. How can deliberations on church concerns be done including the reading of appointments? And this has domino effect on the length of stay of the administrative pastors and the District Superintendents and even the episcopacy. But the crucial concern is how can the church perform now its mission in the society? The forum will focus on how the pandemic affected the programs of the church in promoting social justice. Have we all just paused our work as Christians because of the health concern? Will Jesus have stopped ministering to the poor and oppressed because there was a curfew and quarantine? I am excited about this online event. This webinar will be able to provide insight and guidance to how the church will move forward in its life even as we anticipate major changes in the United Methodist Church. Pastor Edgar will moderate this event.

I met Pastor Edgar when I was in seminary. He was assigned to me as my mentor when I was an intern in Hurdle Mills United Methodist Church in North Carolina. It was one of my best time as a young Pastor. He took time to guide me on the ministry of the Pastor not only as a preacher but as a community leader. He made sure that I understood that the church is not confined in the four corners of the building and thus the work of the Pastor does not end in the worship service but includes community service. He took me to home visits as well as to community events and activities. Although I was more interested with the different Southern food recipes in every event we attended, I was slowly learning that collaborating with other faith groups and participating in the daily life of the community is part of the mission work of the church. Resisting the social ills in the community also means showing love to all people, especially those who are often neglected. Visiting the sick and bringing food to the shut-ins is not less significant to providing work opportunity to the unemployed and assisting migrants get documented. As Christians, we are called to be leaders... leading the church towards freedom.

Join the forum. Register in advance for the NAFAUM Leadership Webinar:
https://us02web.zoom.us/…/tZEsd--opz8vGdG1LrDf-RvvZoB9v_334…

A PK's Quarantine Birthday

My daughter is a PK. It is my youngest daughter's third birthday.

The whole month of May, up until the birthday of my daughter, I was confined to meeting people only in the hospital and those I meet in the online meetings and communications. One of them was our first online meeting with the PKs last May 12. 'Cher Lhyne, Amen, Soc, Joyce, 'Te Gladz and Bhin were there for this historic event. I was so blessed to be with these wonderful children of God.

A PK has unique experiences that only fellow PK can understand. This PK (Pastor's Kids) group was my core support group when I was in Quezon City almost 10 years ago. Our PK group had been a blessing not only to me but to many other people as well because they understand that more than being a PK, they are God's children. Recognizing that you are God's child means a lot. This group has been able to reach out to other younger PKs providing support, guidance and friendship. We were able to help poor PKs go to school. We raised funds together to send help to victims of calamities and disaster. We have prayed, had fellowship with other PKs and led worship services too. We also played and had fun. We also love to travel together and visit places. We have shared many special occasions - birthdays, graduations, weddings, baptism - and many other celebrations together over the years. We have fostered a relationship for a lifetime that we hope others will experience as well. I hope my daughter, also a PK, will grow up and find a PK tribe that will be her friends and celebrate with her special occasions and her birthdays in the future. 

I was able to come home to and join my family after more than 2 months of Covid19 response and quarantine. Nothing will separate us from celebrating special events like this. Just like what James 1:17 said,"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."

Birthdays are gifts from God. Birthdays should be celebrated. We did. It was a quarantine themed-birthday party. Of course, a Princess cake was in order. But we did not have visitors. It was just us in the house and the family living in the compound, and those are the only people that matter. Family and friends who care for you and love you. It is always special to spend momentous occasions with people dear to your heart.


It was a wonderful day full of fun and happiness. It was a also a great day to remember how God loves us as his children. 

It is always a blessing to spend time with the children of God.